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misc:bashphorisms [2011/06/14 05:06] thebonsai 11-20 |
misc:bashphorisms [2015/10/24 15:03] gniourf [Table] and fixed |
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| ====== The Bashphorisms ====== | ====== The Bashphorisms ====== | ||
| - | Bashphorisms are aphorisms for the IRC channel ''#bash'' on Freenode. Keep in mind that this version is a snapshot, the bashphorisms are changed here and there. | + | Bashphorisms are aphorisms for the IRC channel ''#bash'' on Freenode. Keep in mind that this version is a snapshot, the bashphorisms are changed here and there. Also, [[http://mywiki.wooledge.org/BashFAQ/064 | another snapshot]]. |
| I think ''greycat'' was the first one who had the idea, but I'm not sure. | I think ''greycat'' was the first one who had the idea, but I'm not sure. | ||
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| And yes, these bashphorisms reflect the daily reality in ''#bash''. | And yes, these bashphorisms reflect the daily reality in ''#bash''. | ||
| - | ^ Number ^ Bashphorism ^ | + | ^ Number ^ Bashphorism ^ |
| - | | 0 | The questioner will never tell you what they are really doing the first time they ask. | | + | | 0 | The questioner will never tell you what they are really doing the first time they ask. | |
| - | | 1 | The questioner's first description of the problem/question will be misleading. | | + | | 1 | The questioner's first description of the problem/question will be misleading. | |
| - | | 2 | The questioner will keep changing the question until it drives the helpers in the channel insane. | | + | | 2 | The questioner will keep changing the question until it drives the helpers in the channel insane. | |
| - | | 3 | Offtopicness will continue until someone asks a bash question that falls under bashphorisms 1 and/or 2, and ''greycat'' gets pissed off. | | + | | 3 | Offtopicness will continue until someone asks a bash question that falls under bashphorisms 1 and/or 2, and ''greycat'' gets pissed off. | |
| - | | 4 | The questioner will not read and apply the answers he is given but will instead continue to practice bashphorism #1 and bashphorism #2. | | + | | 4 | The questioner will not read and apply the answers he is given but will instead continue to practice bashphorism #1 and bashphorism #2. | |
| - | | 5 | The ignorant will continually mis-educate the other noobies. | | + | | 5 | The ignorant will continually mis-educate the other noobies. | |
| - | | 6 | When given a choice of solutions, the newbie will always choose the wrong one. | | + | | 6 | When given a choice of solutions, the newbie will always choose the wrong one. | |
| - | | 7 | The newbie will always find a reason to say, "It doesn't work." | | + | | 7 | The newbie will always find a reason to say, "It doesn't work." | |
| - | | 8 | If you don't know to whom the bashphorism's referring, it's you. | | + | | 8 | If you don't know to whom the bashphorism's referring, it's you. | |
| - | | 9 | All examples given by the questioner will be broken, misleading, wrong, and not representative of the actual question. | | + | | 9 | All examples given by the questioner will be broken, misleading, wrong, and not representative of the actual question. | |
| - | | 10 | See B1 | | + | | 10 | See B1 | |
| - | | 11 | Please apply (( % 10 )) to the bashphorism value. | | + | | 11 | Please apply ''%%(( % 10 ))%%'' to the bashphorism value. | |
| - | | 12 | All logic is deniable; however, some logic will *plonk* you if you deny it. | | + | | 12 | All logic is deniable; however, some logic will *plonk* you if you deny it. | |
| - | | 13 | Everyone ignores greycat when he is right. When he is wrong, it is !b1 | | + | | 13 | Everyone ignores greycat when he is right. When he is wrong, it is !b1 | |
| - | | 14 | The newbie doesn't actually know what he's asking. If he did, he wouldn't need to ask. | | + | | 14 | The newbie doesn't actually know what he's asking. If he did, he wouldn't need to ask. | |
| - | | 15 | The more advanced you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it. | | + | | 15 | The more advanced you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it. | |
| - | | 16 | The more beginner you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it. | | + | | 16 | The more beginner you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it. | |
| - | | 17 | A newbie comes to #bash to get his script confirmed. He leaves disappointed. | | + | | 17 | A newbie comes to #bash to get his script confirmed. He leaves disappointed. | |
| - | | 18 | The newbie will not accept the answer you give, no matter how right it is. | | + | | 18 | The newbie will not accept the answer you give, no matter how right it is. | |
| - | | 19 | The newbie is a bloody loon. | | + | | 19 | The newbie is a bloody loon. | |
| - | | 20 | The newbie will always have some excuse for doing it wrong. | | + | | 20 | The newbie will always have some excuse for doing it wrong. | |
| + | | 21 | When the newbie's question is ambiguous, the proper interpretation will be whichever one makes the problem the hardest to solve. | | ||
| + | | 22 | The newcomer will abuse the bot's factoid triggers for their own entertainment until someone gets annoyed enough to ask them to message it privately instead. | | ||
| + | | 23 | Everyone is a newcomer. | | ||
| + | | 24 | The newcomer will address greybot as if it were human. | | ||
| + | | 25 | The newbie won't accept any answer that uses practical or standard tools. | | ||
| + | | 26 | The newbie will not TELL you about this restriction until you have wasted half an hour. | | ||
| + | | 27 | The newbie will lie. | | ||
| + | | 28 | When the full horror of the newbie's true goal is revealed, the newbie will try to restate the goal to trick you into answering. Newbies are stupid. | | ||
| + | | 29 | It's always git. Or python virtualenv. Or docker. One of those pieces of shit. ALWAYS. | | ||
| + | | 30 | They won't show you the homework assignment. That would make it too easy. | | ||
| + | | 31 | Your teacher is a fucking idiot. | | ||
| + | | 32 | The more horrifyingly wrong a proposed solution is, the more likely it will be used. | | ||
| + | | 33 | The newbie cannot explain what he is doing, or why. He will show you incomprehensible, nonworking code instead. What? You can't read his mind?! | | ||
| Please feel free to correct or extend this page whenever needed. | Please feel free to correct or extend this page whenever needed. | ||