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misc:bashphorisms [2013/01/09 06:19]
ormaaj Also on wooledge. TODO: sync both with the bot.
misc:bashphorisms [2015/10/24 15:03]
gniourf [Table] and fixed
Line 9: Line 9:
 And yes, these bashphorisms reflect the daily reality in ''#​bash''​. And yes, these bashphorisms reflect the daily reality in ''#​bash''​.
  
-^ Number ​ ^ Bashphorism ​                                                                                                                              ​+^ Number ​ ^ Bashphorism ​                                                                                                                                                   
-| 0       | The questioner will never tell you what they are really doing the first time they ask.                                                    +| 0       | The questioner will never tell you what they are really doing the first time they ask.                                                                         ​
-| 1       | The questioner'​s first description of the problem/​question will be misleading. ​                                                           +| 1       | The questioner'​s first description of the problem/​question will be misleading. ​                                                                                ​
-| 2       | The questioner will keep changing the question until it drives the helpers in the channel insane. ​                                        ​+| 2       | The questioner will keep changing the question until it drives the helpers in the channel insane. ​                                                             
-| 3       | Offtopicness will continue until someone asks a bash question that falls under bashphorisms 1 and/or 2, and ''​greycat''​ gets pissed off.  +| 3       | Offtopicness will continue until someone asks a bash question that falls under bashphorisms 1 and/or 2, and ''​greycat''​ gets pissed off.                       ​
-| 4       | The questioner will not read and apply the answers he is given but will instead continue to practice bashphorism #1 and bashphorism #2.   ​+| 4       | The questioner will not read and apply the answers he is given but will instead continue to practice bashphorism #1 and bashphorism #2.                        
-| 5       | The ignorant will continually mis-educate the other noobies. ​                                                                             +| 5       | The ignorant will continually mis-educate the other noobies. ​                                                                                                  ​
-| 6       | When given a choice of solutions, the newbie will always choose the wrong one.                                                            +| 6       | When given a choice of solutions, the newbie will always choose the wrong one.                                                                                 ​
-| 7       | The newbie will always find a reason to say, "It doesn'​t work." ​                                                                          ​+| 7       | The newbie will always find a reason to say, "It doesn'​t work." ​                                                                                               
-| 8       | If you don't know to whom the bashphorism'​s referring, it's you.                                                                          +| 8       | If you don't know to whom the bashphorism'​s referring, it's you.                                                                                               ​
-| 9       | All examples given by the questioner will be broken, misleading, wrong, and not representative of the actual question. ​                   +| 9       | All examples given by the questioner will be broken, misleading, wrong, and not representative of the actual question. ​                                        ​
-| 10      | See B1                                                                                                                                    +| 10      | See B1                                                                                                                                                         ​
-| 11      | Please apply ''​<​nowiki>​(( % 10 ))</​nowiki>​''​ to the bashphorism value. ​                                                                   +| 11      | Please apply ''​%%(( % 10 ))%%''​ to the bashphorism value. ​                                                                                                     
-| 12      | All logic is deniable; however, some logic will *plonk* you if you deny it.                                                               ​+| 12      | All logic is deniable; however, some logic will *plonk* you if you deny it.                                                                                    
-| 13      | Everyone ignores greycat when he is right. When he is wrong, it is !b1                                                                    +| 13      | Everyone ignores greycat when he is right. When he is wrong, it is !b1                                                                                         ​
-| 14      | The newbie doesn'​t actually know what he's asking. If he did, he wouldn'​t need to ask.                                                    +| 14      | The newbie doesn'​t actually know what he's asking. If he did, he wouldn'​t need to ask.                                                                         ​
-| 15      | The more advanced you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it.                                                             ​+| 15      | The more advanced you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it.                                                                                  
-| 16      | The more beginner you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it.                                                             ​+| 16      | The more beginner you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it.                                                                                  
-| 17      | A newbie comes to #bash to get his script confirmed. He leaves disappointed. ​                                                             +| 17      | A newbie comes to #bash to get his script confirmed. He leaves disappointed. ​                                                                                  ​
-| 18      | The newbie will not accept the answer you give, no matter how right it is.                                                                +| 18      | The newbie will not accept the answer you give, no matter how right it is.                                                                                     ​
-| 19      | The newbie is a bloody loon.                                                                                                              +| 19      | The newbie is a bloody loon.                                                                                                                                   ​
-| 20      | The newbie will always have some excuse for doing it wrong. ​                                                                              ​|+| 20      | The newbie will always have some excuse for doing it wrong. ​                                                                                                   | 
 +| 21      | When the newbie'​s question is ambiguous, the proper interpretation will be whichever one makes the problem the hardest to solve. ​                              | 
 +| 22      | The newcomer will abuse the bot's factoid triggers for their own entertainment until someone gets annoyed enough to ask them to message it privately instead. ​ | 
 +| 23      | Everyone is a newcomer. ​                                                                                                                                       | 
 +| 24      | The newcomer will address greybot as if it were human. ​                                                                                                        | 
 +| 25      | The newbie won't accept any answer that uses practical or standard tools. ​                                                                                     | 
 +| 26      | The newbie will not TELL you about this restriction until you have wasted half an hour.                                                                        | 
 +| 27      | The newbie will lie.                                                                                                                                           | 
 +| 28      | When the full horror of the newbie'​s true goal is revealed, the newbie will try to restate the goal to trick you into answering. Newbies are stupid. ​          | 
 +| 29      | It's always git. Or python virtualenv. Or docker. One of those pieces of shit. ALWAYS. ​                                                                        | 
 +| 30      | They won't show you the homework assignment. That would make it too easy.                                                                                      | 
 +| 31      | Your teacher is a fucking idiot. ​                                                                                                                              | 
 +| 32      | The more horrifyingly wrong a proposed solution is, the more likely it will be used.                                                                           | 
 +| 33      | The newbie cannot explain what he is doing, or why. He will show you incomprehensible,​ nonworking code instead. What? You can't read his mind?​! ​               ​|
  
 Please feel free to correct or extend this page whenever needed. Please feel free to correct or extend this page whenever needed.
  
  • misc/bashphorisms.txt
  • Last modified: 2015/12/04 07:11
  • by fgrose