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misc:bashphorisms [2009/11/23 22:05]
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misc:bashphorisms [2015/12/04 07:11] (current)
fgrose decency
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 ====== The Bashphorisms ====== ====== The Bashphorisms ======
  
-Bashphorisms are aphorisms for the IRC channel ''#​bash''​ on Freenode. Keep in mind that this version is a snapshot, the bashphorisms are changed here and there.+Bashphorisms are aphorisms for the IRC channel ''#​bash''​ on Freenode. Keep in mind that this version is a snapshot, the bashphorisms are changed here and there. Also, [[http://​mywiki.wooledge.org/​BashFAQ/​064 | another snapshot]].
  
 I think ''​greycat''​ was the first one who had the idea, but I'm not sure. I think ''​greycat''​ was the first one who had the idea, but I'm not sure.
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 And yes, these bashphorisms reflect the daily reality in ''#​bash''​. And yes, these bashphorisms reflect the daily reality in ''#​bash''​.
  
-^Number^Bashphorism^ +^ Number ​ ^ Bashphorism ​                                                                                                                                                   
-| 0 |The questioner will never tell you what they are really doing the first time they ask.| +| 0       ​| The questioner will never tell you what they are really doing the first time they ask.                                                                         ​
-| 1 |The questioner'​s first description of the problem/​question will be misleading.| +| 1       ​| The questioner'​s first description of the problem/​question will be misleading. ​                                                                                ​
-| 2 |The questioner will keep changing the question until it drives the helpers in the channel insane.| +| 2       ​| The questioner will keep changing the question until it drives the helpers in the channel insane. ​                                                             
-| 3 |Offtopicness will continue until someone asks a bash question that falls under bashphorisms 1 and/or 2, and ''​greycat''​ gets pissed off.| +| 3       ​| Offtopicness will continue until someone asks a bash question that falls under bashphorisms 1 and/or 2, and ''​greycat''​ gets pissed off.                       ​
-| 4 |The questioner will not read and apply the answers he is given but will instead continue to practice bashphorism #1 and bashphorism #2.| +| 4       ​| The questioner will not read and apply the answers he is given but will instead continue to practice bashphorism #1 and bashphorism #2.                        
-| 5 |The ignorant will continually mis-educate the other noobies.| +| 5       ​| The ignorant will continually mis-educate the other noobies. ​                                                                                                  ​
-| 6 |When given a choice of solutions, the newbie will always choose the wrong one.| +| 6       ​| When given a choice of solutions, the newbie will always choose the wrong one.                                                                                 ​
-| 7 |The newbie will always find a reason to say, "It doesn'​t work."​| +| 7       ​| The newbie will always find a reason to say, "It doesn'​t work." ​                                                                                               
-| 8 |If you don't know to whom the bashphorism'​s referring, it's you.|+| 8       ​| If you don't know to whom the bashphorism'​s referring, it's you.                                                                                               | 
 +| 9       | All examples given by the questioner will be broken, misleading, wrong, and not representative of the actual question. ​                                        | 
 +| 10      | See B1                                                                                                                                                         | 
 +| 11      | Please apply ''​%%(( % 10 ))%%''​ to the bashphorism value. ​                                                                                                     | 
 +| 12      | All logic is deniable; however, some logic will *plonk* you if you deny it.                                                                                    | 
 +| 13      | Everyone ignores greycat when he is right. When he is wrong, it is !b1                                                                                         | 
 +| 14      | The newbie doesn'​t actually know what he's asking. If he did, he wouldn'​t need to ask.                                                                         | 
 +| 15      | The more advanced you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it.                                                                                  | 
 +| 16      | The more beginner you are, the more likely you are to be overcomplicating it.                                                                                  | 
 +| 17      | A newbie comes to #bash to get his script confirmed. He leaves disappointed. ​                                                                                  | 
 +| 18      | The newbie will not accept the answer you give, no matter how right it is.                                                                                     | 
 +| 19      | The newbie is a bloody loon.                                                                                                                                   | 
 +| 20      | The newbie will always have some excuse for doing it wrong. ​                                                                                                   | 
 +| 21      | When the newbie'​s question is ambiguous, the proper interpretation will be whichever one makes the problem the hardest to solve. ​                              | 
 +| 22      | The newcomer will abuse the bot's factoid triggers for their own entertainment until someone gets annoyed enough to ask them to message it privately instead. ​ | 
 +| 23      | Everyone is a newcomer. ​                                                                                                                                       | 
 +| 24      | The newcomer will address greybot as if it were human. ​                                                                                                        | 
 +| 25      | The newbie won't accept any answer that uses practical or standard tools. ​                                                                                     | 
 +| 26      | The newbie will not TELL you about this restriction until you have wasted half an hour.                                                                        | 
 +| 27      | The newbie will lie.                                                                                                                                           | 
 +| 28      | When the full horror of the newbie'​s true goal is revealed, the newbie will try to restate the goal to trick you into answering. Newbies are stupid. ​          | 
 +| 29      | It's always git. Or python virtualenv. Or docker. One of those pieces of shit. ALWAYS. ​                                                                        | 
 +| 30      | They won't show you the homework assignment. That would make it too easy.                                                                                      | 
 +| 31      | Your teacher is a f**king idiot. ​                                                                                                                              | 
 +| 32      | The more horrifyingly wrong a proposed solution is, the more likely it will be used.                                                                           | 
 +| 33      | The newbie cannot explain what he is doing, or why. He will show you incomprehensible,​ nonworking code instead. What? You can't read his mind?​! ​               ​|
  
 Please feel free to correct or extend this page whenever needed. Please feel free to correct or extend this page whenever needed.
  
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